


The Voyage Home

by nevereatdirt



Series: NEDWrites Oneshots [25]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, First Time, M/M, Tentabulges, Top Karkat Vantas, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevereatdirt/pseuds/nevereatdirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But this… This is so much different. The touch is soft and tender in a way that kissing your former palemate had never been. And it’s warm. So fucking warm. All you can do is purr against his lips and you feel like a wriggler. But what does that feeling matter when you’re kissing someone? John’s arms wrap around your neck and your other hand snakes into his hair. You’re practically on top of him and you can’t get over how it feels so fucking <i>right</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Voyage Home

The game had been hard won. You’d led your team of trolls along with the humans through the fight of your young lives and you survived. Barely. Most of your team had been badly wounded and you could hardly use your right arm when all was said and done, but then things began to change. You’d seen the door to your new universe and none of you could believe it. When the door opened you’d been enveloped in a blinding light and then… 

Then you found yourself in a ship. Yet another fucking ship. You still aren’t entirely sure where the ship is headed, but it has coordinates set in the engine room and it looks like a time of arrival has been determined. It really would have been too fucking easy to just be transported to your destination immediately, wouldn’t it? But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve all been healed by the light, and you even received a message from trolls that you’d thought were long dead. 

As it turns out, the Alpha versions of each of you have been revived. Everyone. It’s a goddamn miracle. 

But you’re still on the ship with the few survivors of the game, and some of them are just as infuriating as you first thought they were. One of them would be one John “No Homo” Egbert. You’ve been talking to him more and more now that you’re face to face with him and he still makes you want to strangle him until he passes out. Not to kill, just to get him to _shut the fuck up_. He lead his team pretty well, but god is he an irritating little shit. 

Hot as he may be, he is fucking unbearable half the time. 

And he really did get hot. He’s not as tall as Strider, thank god, but he’s still a half head taller than you. And he’s broad. You have a feeling that so many years of swinging that hammer of his around have made him a force to be reckoned with, but you still have speed on your side. That is if you ever needed to fight. Which at times you think you might just because no one can seem to agree on things anymore. 

It makes sense, though. You’re all adolescents, you think, and you’re all going through your molts. Or puberty as the humans call it. The only thing you can smell on the ship when you wake up is pheromones and sex. It’s starting to get on your nerves if you’re honest with yourself. You’ve been on this fucking ship now for a sweep and a half. You’re nine fucking sweeps old and still haven’t had a quadrant filled for long. It really makes you feel like a failure. At least you grew a little. It makes life a little simpler when you can reach the top shelf without asking for help. 

Today hasn’t been any different than the past sweep and a half or so. Though John has been particularly strange since he’s woken up. It wouldn’t be such a bother, but he’s been sitting so close to you as you use your husktop that you can practically feel him breathing on you. Every hour or so he seems to try moving in a little closer to you like the awkward piece of shit that he is, but the only thing you can do is glance over at him. 

When you catch sight of him, he jumps like he wasn’t expecting you to and a pink flush spreads over his face like he’s embarrassed. Quirking a thick eyebrow, you just frown. “What the fuck, Egbert?” 

He chews at his lip with those obnoxious teeth and his eyes just flit over your face for a second. “What do you mean?” He gives you a little grin and laughs a little under his breath like he knows _exactly_ what you mean. 

You roll your eyes and set your husktop aside, crossing your arms over your chest. “You know exactly what I fucking mean, douche hammer. Why do you keep staring at me?” 

His grin falters and his shoulders hunch just a little as he huffs another laugh. “Staring? Dude I’m not staring I’m just sitting next to you.” 

”Yeah you were, Egbert. There’s nothing else to be fucking doing here.” You turn toward him, eyes narrowed. “So what the fuck.” 

This time the laughter is nervous and he moves away a little. “It… It’s nothing.” He swallows and averts his gaze. 

From everything you’ve read in shitty romance novels and seen in movies, this is the kind of thing an idiot will do before a confession of some sort, and you aren’t sure if you’re prepared for something like that. Who are you kidding? You are _more_ than ready for this. Of all the trolls in all the universes you are the one that has been most patiently waiting for something like this to happen, and you are also the best prepared. “Okay, dude, it’s obviously _not_ nothing so quit acting like a school-feeding wriggler and tell me what’s wrong.” You drop the usual gruffness in your voice, though the sweeps of shouting have still given you a gravelly tone as you speak. 

It seems to throw him off, though. He looks back at you, his blue eyes wide and his lips part ever so slightly. “You… You can’t laugh or yell if I tell you, okay Karkat?” His tone is hushed and hurried, like just speaking the words scares him somehow. 

You sigh and just give him a nod, putting one arm over the back of the couch that you’re sitting on. “Yeah, man. No laughing. No yelling. Shit I won’t even make any long-winded metaphors, okay?” 

He laughs and nods, knowing that you know how you speak. No one was really surprised that you knew how much you went on anymore. You’re a talkative piece of shit, what can you say? But John just pulls his knees to his chest, a strange position for a grown ass human to take. Or you assume he’s grown. You’re still not sure. But he gives a little sigh, and mutters something under his breath. “So there’s that…” 

”Dude I didn’t hear anything but ‘so there’s that’ speak up a little.” 

He takes a deep breath and, faster than you would have expected, he blurts out what you assume he’d been mumbling. “I had a wet dream with you in it and it made me realize that I kind of like you!” 

You furrow your brow, unsure of just what exactly a wet dream is, but just try to absorb the fact that he said he _likes_ you. “Wait. You mean it? Like you mean you like me in the human way then?” 

”Well, duh, Karkat!” He looks almost offended that you’d have to ask. “I mean… How else would I like you?” His face is even more flushed than you thought it could be and for some reason the dusting of pink on his cheeks is actually almost cute instead of freakish like it is on you. 

Moving just a little closer, your eyes flit over him just to see if he’s fucking with you. He’s pulled stunts like this before. Usually he’s much less nervous, though, so it tells you that he might be serious. “I’ve just gotta make sure, okay? I mean like… You could like me in a black or a pale way you know. That’s a thing.” 

He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Karkat I’m human. You’ve told me like a bajillion times that I couldn’t feel that way about someone.” He furrows his brow and gives you an almost comical look of disdain. 

And for some reason. For some godforsaken reason that makes you do the until now unthinkable. You move closer and, with a hand resting against his warm, pink face, you press your black lips to his. He lets out a soft little squeak in surprise but soon you feel him relax. This isn’t your first kiss. Not by a long shot. You’ve kissed Gamzee and once you kissed Kanaya’s corpse, though you doubt that counts. You kissed Dave once on a dare from Terezi, though you feel like she just wanted to see her two prospective matesprits makeout. She did see it, and all she did was cackle. 

But this… This is so much different. The touch is soft and tender in a way that kissing your former palemate had never been. And it’s warm. So fucking warm. All you can do is purr against his lips and you feel like a wriggler. But what does that feeling matter when you’re kissing someone? John’s arms wrap around your neck and your other hand snakes into his hair. You’re practically on top of him and you can’t get over how it feels so fucking _right_. 

Your tongue pokes at his soft lips and begs for entrance, which you find yourself rewarded with. His mouth, like his lips, is warm. But not just warm in this case. Hot. His lips and mouth are so hot against your tongue that it almost sears you to kiss him like this but you don’t _care_. Before long, though, you both break for breath and you find yourself smiling like an idiot down at him. 

He laughs nervously and you can feel every puff of air against your lips as he speaks. “Guess you like me back?” 

You press another kiss to his lips and move so that you’re straddling his hips. “Shut up, Egbert you’re ruining the moment.” You move your lips from his to kiss along his jaw and neck, leaving him catching his breath again. 

He laughs through his pants and soft gasps, just holding you tightly as you move against his neck. “I’ll take this as a yes?” One of his hands trails up into your hair, gripping it near the base of your neck and you just purr softly at the touch, dragging your dull teeth along his neck in affirmation. The breathy moan that escapes him makes the gesture entirely worth it and you smile against his skin. 

With another soft kiss against his throat you finally speak again. “Yeah, Egbert, that was a yes.” You sit up, your hands slowly running down his body and just holding him at his waist. “So, uh… Funny question for you.” 

He snorts and tilts his head, an eyebrow raised over his thick-rimmed frames. “What is it? This isn’t some weird troll courtship thing is it? Because I’m not sure how much of that I can take.” He sits up a little, resting his weight on his elbows as he laughs that silly Egbert laugh. 

You bite your lip and shrug a shoulder. “I just wanna know what the fuck a wet dream is.” 

His eyes go almost comically wide and his face turns a deep shade of scarlet. It isn’t hard to tell that what you’ve said must be horribly embarrassing to him, but he still opens his mouth trying to form words. His gaze lowers and he fidgets with the unraveling blanket covering the couch you’re on. “Do trolls really not have wet dreams, or are you fucking with me?” 

”John when have I ever fucked with you like that? You’re the one with all that Prankster’s Gambit hoofbeast shit, not me.” You give him a smile and tilt his chin up so his blue eyes are on yours. 

It seems to make him feel at least a little better as his dopey grin spreads across his face. You kind of hate that grin, but then you don’t at the same time. “Okay. I mean… Well when humans sleep sometimes they end up like, having really sexy dreams? And, like…” He clears his throat, the flush across his cheeks still more than apparent. “Okay so basically some parts of the dream carry over when you’re awake…” 

You furrow your brow, still feeling confused. “So, wait, like… You wake up with your human bulge all weird and stiff?” 

He laughs nervously and averts his eyes. “Uh, yeah. Yeah that’s what happens basically.” 

You purse your lips and nod. “So, I was in one of those dreams then.” 

”Yeah.” His voice is soft and you just keep your hand in place on his chin. 

”What was I doing?” Your hands move, tracing along his body slowly. You’re suddenly feeling a lot like this is going in a direction that you really haven’t thought about since the game. At least with him. 

His breath hitches and he leans back against the couch, his dull human teeth pulling at his lip. “You… You were giving me head.” 

Dave’s shown you videos of “giving head” and, at one point, the two of you had even thought about being a friends with benefits sort of thing as he put it. You still aren’t sure if you like that idea at all. It just sounds confusing and more trouble than it’s worth, but you saw what it was human males are packing. Which means that you know more or less not to use your teeth for what you’re about to do. 

Carefully, you shuffle back and begin to unbutton his jeans. He just stares down at you, wide eyed and almost terrified looking but he seems to know what you’re planning. Pulling his pants and ridiculous briefs down to show off that silly human flesh rod that they call a dick. You take him in your hand and make a face at the strange feeling of it. Your own bulge is a constant, writhing muscle that’s always searching for _some_ kind of contact. This is… Hard. Weirdly hard. It feels like the base of your bulge when you’re on the edge. But then it isn’t either. It kind of flops as you move your hand along its length but soon it begins to stiffen more. 

When it feels like it’s as stiff as it’s going to get and John is making these soft little whimpering noises that go straight to your bulge, you lean in and lick along his length. It’s a scary at first in the way that doing anything new is. You feel like you’re going to fuck up, especially with your teeth in such a position to possibly lacerate his sensitive cock. But you’ll take this slow. You’d been planning on it anyway. 

You swallow thickly and think about what the humans in the videos you’ve seen had done. Your eyes dart over the length and you press soft little kisses up along it, unsure if what you’re doing is actually doing anything for him until he lets out a soft little squeak. You look up at him as you make it to his tip, trying to figure out just how to go about this. But you’ve led a goddamn army of trolls and humans to victory and you’ll be damned if a little human bulge confuses you at all. 

Without a second thought, you take his tip between your lips, moving your tongue against it experimentally. You’ve got no idea what you’re supposed to be doing with your mouth, but you will be _damned_ before you let ignorance stop you from doing anything. His incessant whining tells you that you’re doing alright at the very least. That, or he’s never had someone do this, which is entirely possible. 

Either way, you keep up your actions as you watch his face, taking in the expressions that can only be described as blissfully enraptured. His eyes are closed and his brow furrowed as he pants and gasps with the back of his hand covering his mouth. You move your head down, still doing your best to continue your motions but finding out that it was easier said than done. His tip is as wide as the rest of his length, but you’re terrified that your teeth are going to snag on his sensitive skin. 

As you worry about cutting him up, you pull your head back and just give him a smirk. You’ll just tease him instead of letting him come just yet. He lets out a low whine and pouts down at you almost comically. “Karkat what the _fuck_!” His voice still holds traces of the gasps and moans he’d been letting out and it makes you want to fuck him even more. 

You hop off the couch and pull off your sweater, tossing it aside. “Strip, Egbert. We’re doing this.” 

He smirks, cheeks still red and his pupils blown out, making his irises look almost completely black. “We’re making this happen?” 

Your expression drops into your usual scowl and you push him down by his shoulders. “I’m not Strider, fuckwit. I don’t wanna hear any of that.” You snap your teeth inches from his nose and give a low growl emanating from your chest. 

His breath catches and you grin as the thought occurs to you that me might like it when you’re a little threatening. You watch the way the now inky pools of his eyes stay wide and rest entirely on you. Really you’ve found yourself enraptured by him, but you just do what feels most natural and pull up on the hem of his shirt. His back arches and you move it up, watching the exposed planes of his skin shift as he breathes. You’ve seen him without a shirt on before of course. How could you not when it’s been so long? 

But there’s something so different about his skin when he’s helping you to pull off his shirt and you’re the only one seeing so much of the soft but still somehow _firm_ expanses beneath you. You feel a purr forming low in your chest and you lean down, kissing and lickng along his neck. You nip at his collarbones and leave angry pink in your wake as you kiss down his chest. Your tongue flits out and pokes against one of his nipples making him let out a shocked little squeak. You laugh under your breath and just move your hands along his skin. 

When his shirt is completely out of the way, you just trace your fingertips along barely visible ridges of his muscles. It’s obvious that they’re there. You’ve always known he was a strong fucker, but he still carries so much extra weight that it makes you wonder just how humans really work. You concentrate on the way he breathes beneath you. Each breath comes softly, though it hitches almost in a laugh as you trace down his stomach. He’s ticklish, you assume, and it makes you realize that laughing might help him to feel better about the interspecies fucking you assume is about to happen. 

You trace down his sides, claws trailing lightly against his soft, pinkish skin and pull down on his loose jeans. His hips lift and you just keep pulling them back and eventually off. You toss them aside and sit back, looking down at his strange human body. You chew at your lip and let your eyes wander over him. As you do he just laughs and sits back up. “Karkat why are you just staring at me? Are humans really that different from trolls?” He smirks at you and you just roll your eyes. 

Shaking your head, you just unbutton your jeans. “Yeah you’re pretty different. Same basic setup but a couple different bits.” You gesture to his cock, and then up and along his body. “You’re missing some stuff too, but I guess you can already see that.” You snort as you gesture to your thorax, showing off your grubscars and vestigial gills. “See? Nothing like these on you.” With a grin you lean back down and run your fingers down his sides again, making him laugh and cover his face with his hands. You snort as he laughs and just pull back and away from him. 

”Karkat what the fuck!” He’s still laughing as he speaks and he wipes the tears forming from it. “Not cool man, not cool!” 

You just roll your eyes and get off the couch, pulling down your pants and tossing them to the side. You look back at him and just quirk an eyebrow as you play with the elastic of your boxers. “Egbert nothing about you is cool. You’re just this giant heap of shit held together by soft skin and bad pranks.” 

He snorts and sits up again. “Yeah well you’re just a weird grey alien that’s leaving me naked on the couch, so what are you gonna do about it?” He sticks his tongue out at you and you just pin him back down. He plays the weak part for you, which makes you feel a little better about yourself, and falls back with a huff. 

You press your lips to his again and purr softly as you move against him. Using your fortunately dense weight you hold him down, feeling the strange way his cock rubs against your half unsheathed bulge and just rut down against him without really meaning to. He lets out the softest little moan against you which gives you a chance to slip your tongue into his mouth again. Both of you are trying to press closer to the other and you can feel your bulge unsheathing less than half an inch at a time. It tries to wrap around his length and that’s when you realize that the two of you are actually going to pail. 

:You’d always thought that your first time would be something _special_ and romantic. Not this. This is almost primal in the way the two of you are searching for every last inch of contact. His skin has heated up and actually feels as warm as yours now. Do humans warm as they move? You don’t have a fucking clue, but you have a feeling that you may warm in different ways. But as your bulge pokes out from your underwear and tries to free itself from the fabric confines, John lets out a yelp and you pull away instinctively. 

He looks almost terrified and you just furrow your brow, looking him up and down. “Are you okay?” 

His breaths are shaky and his eyes are wide as he speaks. “What was that?” The words are hushed as he stammers through the beginning of the question and you suddenly realize that he’s definitely in the same ship that you are. 

Licking your lips nervously, you lean back and begin to pull down your boxers. “That’s my bulge. Man I thought that you would’ve seen a troll naked by now! We’ve been on this fucking ship now for a sweep and a half for fuck’s sake.” Your bulge pokes out, twisting and turning in the cool air as you pull your legs out of your boxers. 

”No! Man when would I ever see a troll naked? Like I don’t really go out of my way to look up alien porn and I don’t walk in on anyone but Dave and Jade in the shower!” 

”Wait you walk in on Jade in the shower?” 

”That’s not the point! It’s been six years the two of us have seen each other naked before, okay? But like… I dunno, man, I’ve just never looked at trolls’ junk before!” 

His face is a brilliant shade of pink as you toss your underwear off the couch and you feel your bulge searching for something wet to writhe inside of, though it seems intent on going for your nook. “Dude that’s fine, I mean like. Dave and I kinda had this weird bro deal on the meteor. So I knew what you’d have.” You gesture to his dick and notice the way precum is beginning to form in a translucent bead at his tip. 

Face still bright, he scratches at the back of his neck and you see how his eyes wander over the length of your bulge. “So… Can I like. I dunno. Can I touch it?” He looks up at you and then away quickly, making you smirk. 

You pull your bulge from trying to press into your admittedly wet nook and walk to him on your knees. “Yeah, go for it. I mean just don’t tug at it hard or anything, there’s still some sheathed.” 

He sits up and looks at your face before reaching out a tentative hand. You let go and he lets out another little surprised yelp as it wraps and twines with his fingers. The sensation of his soft but calloused on against your bulge makes you shudder and you stare down at him with half lidded eyes. “Karkat this is…” He laughs nervously. “You’re like something out of a fucking _hentai_ , man.” 

You do your best to keep your breathing even as he speaks. “The fuck is a hentai?” 

”Oh, uh, it’s this animated Japanese porn. I guess it’d be like Eastern Alternian or whatever? Like that one troll with the topknot in the bubbles.” 

You scrunch your nose and frown, though it fades quickly as his fingers move with your bulge. “Oh her.” You swallow thickly, having trouble thinking through the heavy scent of pheromones you’re producing. “She’s got some pretty fucking weird troll anime, too, man. So much musclebeast cock.” You go to snort but find yourself more inclined to gasp as John gives your bulge a soft squeeze. “Are you okay with this?” 

He looks up at you again, his brow furrowed in contemplation. With a heavy sigh, he nods but pulls his hand away with little trails of pinkish preslurry on his fingers. “Yeah, I think so. Just like… I dunno man, how do you want to do this?” 

You lean back and shrug. “I dunno, I figure it’d be simplest and least like anything either of us would ever really experience if I was in control.” You like control, anyway. John can’t take that from you. “I’ve read about this enough, dude, I know what I’m doing.” 

He scrunches his nose as he thinks, looking from your face to your bulge before finally nodding again. “I’ll see how it feels I guess, but if I say stop we’re stopping!” He looks up at you, an eyebrow cocked. “Do you really have any idea what you’re doing though?” 

You push him back again, this time moving so that his legs are on either side of you. “Yeah.” Your lips find his throat again and your nip lightly at his already marked skin as you speak. “I think I fucking do, Egbert.” You can hear the growl in your voice as you pull closer, lifting his hips just a shade. Your bulge pokes at the only entrance it can seem to find and you hear him squeak as it does. 

But he doesn’t tell you to stop, and you aren’t sure if your bulge really listens to you sometimes, so you’re glad that he’s letting you. Your bulge seems to be just the right width at the tip to press inside of him, and it does so with relative ease. Rose had given you books on the meteor where there was _prepping_ involved, but she also told you that it wasn’t be much of an issue with your “intriguing anatomy” as she’d put it. You’d always just assumed that she and Kanaya had been experimenting. You think now that you’d probably right. 

You don’t really have much time to think about the girls, though. Not with John panting under you. You keep your lips on his neck, alternating between soft nips and sucks before pressing a light kiss to each mark that you leave. As your bulge moves into him, seeming to stretch him with each soft press, you groan at the sensation. You’d thought that humans would be so much warmer than you, and for the most part John seems to be. But inside he’s so much cooler than your bulge. 

He whimpers beneath you, his arms gripping at your neck and hair to pull you as close as you can. You feel your chest flush against his and the white heat in your body seems to almost explode. You hold his hips up just enough so that your bulge can just keep pressing into him, though he whines more and more the further it goes in. You just murmur against his neck, telling him not to worry and that everything is going to be okay. You’ve got him and you wouldn’t hurt him now, after all. 

It seems to calm him in a way and you just keep speaking, not even really sure what it is you’re saying, until you finally feel your hips flush against him. You lift your head to look at him and he stares back with heavy breaths and parted lips. Not moving seems to be the only course of action you have at the moment, though your bulge still seems to want to twist and writhe inside of him even if there isn’t any room. He licks his lips and looks down to where you’re joined to him before looking back up and laughing softly, a smile on his face. 

”What?” You lean in a little and both of you let out sharp little gasps as you do. “Fuck, Egbert, what’s so funny?” 

He’s still laughing, even though his face is flushed and you know that neither of you are going to last very long like this. “Remember when I said I am not a homosexual?” 

You roll your eyes, frowning a little at him even though your bulge is moving in him, causing both of you to let out little pants and moans without you even moving your hips. “Yeah, you used kleenex, I do.” 

He snorts but shudders and gasps as you reposition just a little. “I’m still not.” He whines as you move him back to that position again, trying to find some kind of way to rest. “But this is still pretty cool.” 

You just shake your head and lean in, kissing his lips softly. “Shut up Egbert that is the least romantic thing to say when I’m sheathe deep in you.” You move your lips against his and finally find the angle that seems to feel best. You move your hips back slightly and see the way the vein on his cock throbs with each movement you make, spurring you to take one hand from his hips and trace along the length. 

Neither of you say anything else as your bulge begins to stiffen at the base, but he lets out a loud, moan that seems to be some kind of version of your name as he comes and you know that you really won’t be far behind. You grip his hips tightly enough that you think you might bruise him a little, but you know that you can’t come inside of him. You’ve seen enough, admittedly kinky, Alternian porn to know that coming inside of him will lead to a mess that neither of you would enjoy. 

So with a low growl you pull out of him and reach for a bucket in your fortunately recoded sylladex. You can feel his eyes on you as your stroke and twine your bulge to your completion, though it feels lacking somehow after the intense heat inside of him. When you come, the material lands safely inside of the pail and you set it on the ground before resting your elbows on your knees and slouching over. 

John sits up and leans against you, pressing a kiss to your jawline. “You didn’t have to do that, Karkat.” 

You look up at him, eyebrow raised. “John, that much material wouldn’t have been good inside of you.” 

His face flushes and he looks down at the filled pail and then to you. “I dunno… It seems like it coulda felt kinda good being that full.” He gives you a lopsided grin and you just roll your eyes, leaning in to give him another kiss. 

”Next time douchebag. Well, next-next time.” 

He furrows his brow in confusion and blinks once, an almost innocent look on his face. “Wait, what?” 

You purr as you speak against his lips. “The way I see it, I’m only half done.” You pull at his lip with your teeth lightly. “Now it’s my turn to be stretched.” You give him a grin and he just stares at you dumbfounded. 

Maybe the rest of the ride to your new universe isn’t going to be so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> ned is back fuckers and xe's ready to kick some ass and take some names aka write porn and probably cry in a corner


End file.
